Blog - The Rogue MFA

Bri CastelliniMay 19, 2026

How To Take Feedback on your Creative Writing Without Spiraling

Art is subjective, and it’s also intensely personal. Intellectually we all understand these things, and that criticism and notes are a necessary part of improving your craft, but emotionally it can be tough to stop ourselves from arguing against every possible suggestion. I feel you, defensive dudes. I am you. If you called me argumentative in front of my mother, she’d ask if you were really talking about her daughter, because “argumentative” is putting it way too lightly.

Feel like you’re not getting much/enough out of feedback sessions with other writers? Let’s talk about it.

Don’t Pre-Bias Anyone

It’s important not to be so hyper-focused (especially in earlier drafts) on what you want feedback on that you signal what elements in your project you aren’t as confident in, biasing your audience to solely focus on that. When you simply present your work as-is, it makes it possible for note-givers to take in the work free of expectation. Then, when they do or don’t bring something up, you’ll either be validated in your concerns or pleasantly surprised it isn’t as big of a deal as you worried.

It’s a fine line, because I agree with Kelly that you should have some semblance of guidance to give your readers, so I try to align how specific I am with instructions depending on draft phase and the person giving notes.

With a note-giver I’ve worked with before and an early draft, I’ll establish the themes/elements of the project I’m most excited and challenged by without offering specific details, page numbers, etc. That way, they know where my head’s at and can meet me there, giving us an aligned mission statement.

With a newer note-giver and early draft, I’ll keep it even more vague, since I don’t know their taste or perspective yet and want to learn it without biasing them.

Read Everything, Then Take a Walk

I get intense anxiety when I get an email of notes, both from the general fear of the unknown (did they like it??) and from the more specific fear of if this will be the email to put the final nail into my writing career’s coffin. Then I’ll read a note or two, see red if I disagree with even an ounce of it, and seethe before finishing consuming the advice days later, strung out and emotionally exhausted.

In an attempt to be less Like That, I’ve found it can be helpful to suck it up, read the entire message of notes, and then log off and take a walk. No podcasts, music, or mobile games—just walk. Let the notes, and all the feelings they bring to the surface, sink in. Get mad, get sad, spiral into existential dread, then take a deep breath and remember that we asked for these notes, we want our writing to improve, and the person who graciously took time out of their day for us is just trying to help.

It doesn’t completely cure the defensiveness, but it helps.

Shut Up

When you’re getting notes in person or on the phone, you can’t really take a beat for a walk and re-centering, so I’ve found the next best thing is to, simply, shut it. When you’re getting feedback from more than one person, you’ll get far more out of the session (and be far less combative with very nice people taking time out of their day to do this with you) by listening more than you talk.

Really, this comes down to a single consideration- how do you want to spend your time… arguing with your feedback givers, or hearing what they have to say?

You can answer questions, sparingly, but it’s far more valuable that you know how people answer their own questions without your input, since you won’t always be in the room when audiences experience your work. The insights of how an audience interprets things that aren’t clear to them are an invaluable part of this process- there’s no right or wrong, there’s just an honest reaction, and then it’s up to you to figure out how to either course-correct that reaction or lean in.

Caveat- just because you stay quiet doesn’t mean your truth doesn’t matter, or that you should put up with being marginalized by writers without your lived experience crapping all over your hard work. But part of listening is deciding if this is even the right feedback group for you in the first place, and also, it’ll tell you who is and isn’t your true audience. My point here is not that you should shut up and let other people tell you what’s what, but rather, that by inserting yourself too frequently, you’re losing the opportunity to hear how people honestly reacted to your work and what misconceptions they were left with that you’ll want to shore up in the next draft they may not even realize they’re incorrect about.

Look Deeper

No matter how practiced or well-meaning, there comes a moment in every feedback interaction where the person giving notes makes a suggestion or pitch to improve the work. This is where most defensiveness stems from, because the easy reaction is to argue about why that suggestion doesn’t work or make sense. A-ha! You think. Finally, the truth comes out—they don’t understand me or my vision and thus it’s already perfect as-is!

I’m sorry to break this to you, but their suggestion doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s a great idea, maybe it’s a terrible idea, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. They aren’t rewriting this story—you are. So, if you disagree with the suggestion, the disagreement is not the point. Instead of arguing about a suggestion made, your job is to try to understand the root of the suggestion so you can solve the underlying problem in your own way.

Example:

Suggestion: You should make the talking iguana a talking owl, actually.

Defensiveness impulse: They can’t be an owl! There’s already a talking owl character in the third act, and I don’t want to undermine that reveal. You fool. You worm.

CURIOSITY DRIVEN response: That’s really interesting. What’s not working about this character being a talking iguana for you? And how/why would an owl fix that problem for you?

The defensiveness impulse is correct, but again, that’s not the point. Something isn’t translating, and you can’t fix the problem by convincing them their suggestion is wrong, only by understanding the core of why they felt the suggestion was necessary in the first place.

Of course, sometimes people just want an entirely different book. That’s a failing of the feedback-giver (more on that here), and learning to sort through feedback that’s valid for what you’re trying to do and valid for what they’re trying to read is the work of time and experience. My best advice is to get broader feedback before making a change that feels fundamental in an uncomfortable way, and use those extra data points to make your ultimate decision.

Remember Why You’re Here

At the end of the day, the goal of receiving feedback should not be validation, even if it’s what we all secretly want. Don’t fish for compliments, as that’s not a productive use of anyone’s time. Be genuinely interested in and open to how to improve your work so it communicates your vision as clearly as possible to the greatest number of people, and remember: we do this because stories matter to us.

So, ask for what you need without biasing people, take some time before responding if you can, otherwise listen closely and look deeper than the surface level suggestions. Your defensiveness is only hurting your relationships with other artists and the work you care so much about.

“Read” this post as a YouTube video instead, if you’re so inclined!

Learn more about The Rogue MFA and our community here. When you’re ready to rock, join our Writing Community Hour over on The Rogue MFA YouTube channel (which meets every other Thursday evening at 4pm PST/ 7pm EST), where we’ll be building routine and community with YOU. Subscribe to get notified, and if you’re even a little bit interested, please fill out our quick survey so we can expand these in the future with you in mind.

Kelly ChastainMay 7, 2026

How To Ask for Feedback on Your Writing and Get Notes That Actually Help

You have more control over this than you think

In all my years teaching creative writing, I utilized a writing workshop model in my class that was a mash up Liz Lerman’s Critical Response Process and the philosophy of Felicia Rose Chavez’s The Anti-Racist Writing Workshop. If you lead creative writing sessions with a feedback component, I can’t recommend Chavez’s work enough.

If you’re in a writing group, looking to form one, or if you’re asking beta readers for feedback and don’t know how to direct them, this is for you. Guidelines aren’t just helpful. They establish expectations and set the tone. So, along with your creative work, you’re going to create a document that will consist of four parts.

What I’d Like You To Focus On

In this section, you’ll tell your readers what you’re having the biggest issues with, or what you perceive as trouble. For example, if you’ve been working on deepening your MCs characterization by including more interiority, you can ask your reader to note where it is and isn’t working. Where it’s too much or not enough. Where it starts to feel like we’re living in their head more than in the world you’ve created.

This also helps your readers understand what’s important to you as the writer. I read a lot of submissions in genres that aren’t my preferred genre. That’s how it works when you’re teaching, and having my students tell me what to focus on has taught me a ton about how they see their genre, some of the conventions that I may have missed, and what’s truly important to them in their story.

It’s too easy to get caught up in what we want the story to be, but when the writer tells us precisely what they’re going for, and asks if we can look out here and see if they’ve hit it? It takes us off the hook, and they get better feedback.

If this is a rough draft and you’re just trying to see if the idea has teeth, you can say something like, I’m just looking for your general impression. Let me know what’s standing out to you good and bad. You don’t have to have 15 bullet points and a manifesto here. A few way markers can make all the difference.

What I Already Know Isn’t Working

This is where you tell your reader what you’re working through, and that can take a variety of forms. For example:

This is the first time I’m trying this in third person, and I know I’ve probably missed some of the pronouns and verb conjugations after I flipped it from first person. I also know this POV switch isn’t fully landing.

This can range from a few sentences to a few paragraphs so your readers understand the context of your thinking, and the other elements of the story that you’re grappling with as you’re making decisions.

If this is a rough draft and you already know that most of it isn’t working, this is the place to let your readers know where you are in the larger process. Flagging it as a shitty first draft is massively helpful for your readers because they’ll know not to flag every typo. We’ll all assume that most of this is going to be rewritten, and the feedback can focus on the broader points of the narrative.

My List of Questions

The magic of this section is where you ask for help specific help if you want it. It’s also a great place to add more context to your questions to help your readers give you more considered feedback.

I know the train station scene is a real mess, and when this was in first person the reader knew what the character was thinking and her motivation. Any suggestions on how to let the reader know that she’s planning to rob the ticket agent? I want the reader to still have sympathy for her.
When the porters are emptying the baggage car, they drop and trunk and everything spills out of it. Did that seem like a reasonable enough distraction for her to be able to rob the ticket agent? Is there something even more obnoxious that would make more people turn to look, and make her get away more believable?
I tried to differentiate the men in the train car by giving one a mustache and the other a midwestern accent. Was it enough?

This is what I call the developmental editing section of the document because usually looking for help to patch a hole in your plot, or make a scene really sing. This tells your reader that they can get creative and that you’re open to their interpretations. That brainstorming is welcome. You also don’t have to put anything in this section. It’s entirely optional.

This is How I Want To Receive Your Feedback

This is the most important part of this document. Even if you don’t put anything in the other three sections, don’t sleep on this one. This is where you tell folks the best way to give you feedback. It’s perfectly reasonable to say something like:

Please only tell me the positives when we meet, and I’ll go over the page notes to see the critiques of what isn’t working in writing. It’s easier for me to digest the feedback that way.

You might be the kind of writer who wants your readers to tear your piece to shreds and give it to you straight. I had a ton of students who were like that, but I also had a ton who thrived with a gentler approach. And I wanted to honor them all. Because the whole point of having a writing community, and giving each other feedback, is to help each other become the writers we want to be.

And we can’t do that if half the room feels like they’ve been flogged or handled like blown glass. Whether you’re anxious about feedback, gung-ho to hear it, or somewhere in between, this model gives guidelines for everyone. Readers included. Phew!

We’ve made a fillable template if that makes your life easier. You can grab it here.

“Read” this post as a YouTube video instead

Join our Writing Community Hour over on The Rogue MFA YouTube channel (which meets every other Thursday evening at 4pm PST/ 7pm EST), where we’ll be building routine and community with YOU. Subscribe to get notified, and if you’re even a little bit interested, please fill out our quick survey so we can expand these in the future with you in mind.

Kelly ChastainApril 30, 2026

What Pride and Prejudice Teachs Us About Character Journeys

The character arcs that keep readers glued to the page

I wish this same advice held for the real world. Alas…

If you’ve never heard of a character arc, you’re not alone. But you probably have a sense of what it is because you read books and you watch films. Not to mention, you’ve seen your best friend finally dump Chad after taking him back 7 times, omg. That was a RIDE. But look at our girl and how she’s grown!

And that is the whole point of a character arc. There are three main categories of arcs, and a whole host of sub categories to choose from. We’re going macro to get the basics down first.

The Positive Character Arc

Ah, the one where they become a better person. This is also the arc that most of us think of first. It’s rags to riches, the bad seed turned philanthropist, Mr. Darcy cutting out all of his bullshit insults to Elizabeth Bennet and becomes a single man in possession of a good fortune who’s actually worth the hassle.

This character either starts off good and grows, or starts off bad and redeems themselves through change. Either way, they follow a similar pattern.

The character holds a false belief about something that’s usually in direct conflict with what they truly want.
- Like that jerk, Mr. Darcy, proclaiming Elizabeth’s tolerable even though she’s obviously not handsome enough to tempt him. LOLZ.
The truth is quickly introduced.
- And damn it, just like that Darcy likes Elizabeth. Albeit against his will, reason, and his very character.
A setback ensues.
- Elizabeth’s having none of these ~~contradictions~~ declarations of love. Against your will? I’ll die penniless, thank you very much.
And so, the adventure or quest begins, where the truth of the matter takes over the character’s belief system so completely that they change.
- In which, Darcy rescues Lydia from that scoundrel Wickham and restores honor to Elizabeth’s family so Elizabeth herself isn’t harmed by the scandal.
- And that, in turn, changes Elizabeth’s opinion of him.

The Negative Character Arc

This one hits hard because there’s so much hope. There’s so much potential for this to turn itself around. Like your best friend giving Chad chance after chance. The will they/won’t they back and forth is hypnotizing. But even with all the struggle, the reasoning, the bargaining, the pleading for crying out loud, it’s all for not.

This character is either going to fall back into the lie, be disillusioned by it, or become a villain in their own right.

The character holds a false belief about something that’s usually supporting some story they’ve been telling themselves, or props up an ideal that they’ve bought hook, line, and sinker.
- Lydia, Elizabeth Bennet’s flibbertigibbet sister, is so boy crazy that she believes any pretty whisperings in her ear. No matter which rake is whispering them. She’s idealized romance to such a degree that she’s blind to possible pitfalls.
- It doesn’t help that Mrs. Bennet is desperate to marry her daughters off and the first bidder is just fine with her.
The truth is quickly introduced.
- While Mr. Wickham is in the army and that seems respectable enough, there’s something off about him. But it all has to do with Mr. Darcy, who’s a jackass, so is he bad? Not to Lydia because offscreen Wickham is wooing the dewy-eyed lass.
A setback ensues.
- The reader is fully aware of what it means if Lydia ruins herself. Lydia even knows. And still, she fights for the idea of Wickham. The disillusionment about marriage, and to him in particular, hits a fever pitch.
And so, the adventure or quest begins, where the character actively chooses the lie over the truth of the matter.
- Lydia elopes with that scoundrel Wickham, and threatens dishonor to Elizabeth’s family until she’s rescued by Mr. Darcy and he sets the whole thing right.

The Flat Character Arc

But I thought you said the character had to change? What’s this flat arc business? Change here happens because of the character. While we might think that super hero stories would fit into the Positive Character Arc, superheroes don’t grow and only occasionally have to redeem themselves. They’re super in the beginning and they stay super. That’s why we watch every Knives Out film and read every Hercule Poirot novel. That’s why Marvel is blockbuster franchise. This character is reliable.

That means, this arc requires a ton of characterization upfront. While this can be a main character like James Bond, they’re often supporting cast and act as foils, comic relief, or a point of contrast to the other characters who are changing.

The character already knows the truth. The internal battle here is being able to maintain that truth.
- Enter Mr. Collins, the idiotic social climbing clergyman and his incessant rambling about Lady Catherine De Bourgh. He believes that he’s really something important because of who he’s connected to, and he’s determined that everyone else does as well.
The truth is quickly tested.
- Mr. Collins sets his cap at marrying Elizabeth Bennett. Only our girl is having none of it. After a lengthy and rambling ~~sales pitch~~ proposal, Elizabeth rejects him again and again.
  - “I am perfectly serious in my refusal. You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who could make you so.” OUCH. But does it change his belief? Nope.
And so, the quest begins to find another character who will either believe the same truth with him or let him continue believing it. ie – Changing the conditions, or the story around him, to keep the truth alive.
- Hello, Charlotte Lucas.
  - 27 years old.
  - No money.
  - No prospects.
  - A burden to her parents.
  - Frightened.
- Charlotte sees Mr. Collins as a means of survival, and arranges their home and married life in such a way that sees him as little as possible.
- This marriage keeps Mr. Collins truth alive. That’s he’s a real somebody.
- We also see Elizabeth and Jane marry well, and the contrast is startling.

A note on plotting

Now you might be thinking, holy hell. I’ve got to plot a character and plot a plot and plot the timeline and, and, and. That can feel like a ton at first, but here’s where it gets good. These plots take care of each other. When you find a character’s motivation, their beliefs and values, and what they want, the Plot plot starts to write itself. Because the ways in which you can complicate this character’s life become very clear.

So. Deep breath. You’ve got this.

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